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This is mine, i know it's stupid but send better ones to me! |
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| Horror:
BY DANIELLE E.(ME) I was walking home from school with my friend JC when we walked by the cemetary. I looked at it for a second and JC said "Let's go in!" I didn't want to look like a wuss so i followed him into the cemetary. We looked around for a while when we ran into a dude that looked like he was a grounds keeper. "Excuse me kids but what are you doing in here today?" "Oh, um," JC said. "To visit my great uncle Cletus," I finished. "The cemetary's closed today you best get out before my boss catches ya'." "Ok, sorry about that mix up type thing ok we're just gonna go now," JC said. I grabbed his arm and smiled at the ground's keeper and pulled him away. "I didn't know you had a great uncle Cletus," JC said, "niether did i," I laughed. We walked around for awhile trying to keep hidden from the grounds keeper. Suddenly i heard a noise behind me i turned around and nothing was there. When i turned back around JC was gone. I looked around and just stood there as i counted down from 3. Then I moved aside and JC fell flat on his face. I bent down to help him up but i had this strange feeling i looked around, nothing. "Come on it's almost 5 i have to get home," I said looking at my watch and rubbing my arms. It was the day before halloween and it was freezing. "So tell me what are you supposed to be again?" "I'm gonna be Amir from Orgy or Briney Spears i'm not sure yet though." "Why not Britney Spears, you'd look nice with those huge boobs!" "Shut up JC, that's it i'm being Amir." "Ok fine," "So what are you?" "Probably Santa, you can sit on my lap and ask me for things." "Gee, why don't you just ditch that idea and go as a pervert, you won't even need a costume." "Ha ha." We started to make our way out of the cemetary when I heard something else, i turned around and looked around, when i turned around JC was gone again. "Yeah that's funny JC, just come on i have to get home. JC?" I sighed as iI turned back into the cemetary. "JC? Where are you?" I screamed, "Ok, i'm leaving 3, 2, 1, alright see ya." I started to walk home, i expected JC to jump out from behind, but there was no one around. I opened the door to my house and no body seemed to be home. I walked in the kitchen and looked on the fridge. There was a note that said 'We'll be home around 10, dinner's in the fridge. love mom and dad'. I looked in the fridge and pulled out a plate with Chicken and poofs, my favorite. I zapped it for a few seconds cause it was still a litlle warm. After i finished eating, i went upstairs to my room and turned on the TV. I heard something moving around in my closet. I slowly walked over to the closet firmly grasping the channel changer in one hand for protection. I threw open the doors and screamed as loud as i could. There was someone in there, but when i stoped screaming i realized who it was, it was Micheal, Amir's son! "How the hell did you get in here?" "Window, is he gone?" "Is who gone?" "The killer." "The killer? What killer?" "Are you alone?" "No, they're in this house somewhere." "Oh good, i might have known, ok let's go find them so we can clear this all up oh and i am being sarcastic in case you were wondering I love orgy more than just about anything!" "Stay close!" We walked through the hall way checking all the rooms on the top floor. No sign of any of them. "Ok if I know Orgy They would be somewhere like the basement," Then the power went out. "Yipes!" Micheal squeaked. "Great, well i guess we're going down the any way so let's go!" I grabbed a flash light out of my back pocket so i could find a better one. I walked to the kitchen and got a bigger flash light out of the drawer. I turned it on and tossed the other one behind me but it didn't sound like it his the floor. I turned around with the flash light and it didn't hit the ground because it had hit Amir in the head and he caught it. "Oh my god, you're Amir, i'm gonna have a heart attack! Sorry about the flash light, where are the other guys?" "I don't know, i was looking for them too." "Well i'm going down to the basement to fix the fuse box, so..." "No you can't, that's the last place i saw the killer go." "What is this about a killer i seem to be hearing about?" "Well, we were driving our groovy van along minding our own business when we were at a stop light he stabbed our driver so we ran here and we saw your window open." "Ok then what are we just standing here for, we need to get the fuck out of here!" "But we have to find to other guys." "Well we already checked upstairs and they're not up there and there's not much else to look at except for the basement." "Don't worry if there is a killer down there i promise i'll stop him from killing people." "I think she's being sarcastic again dad." "Fine i'll go myself." I shined my flash light down the flight of stairs and slowly sarted to walk down. I turned on the fuse and looked around. I heard something over by the fernace. I walked over to it slowly. I made my way to look around and saw some one back there. I screamed even though it was just Jay and not the killer. "what are you doing?" he asked. "Shh, i'm trying to make a big deal." I continued to scream. Amir and Micheal came bolting down the stairs. "Zoinks!" Amir yelled. "Ha, thought that would get you down here, i found Jay." I smiled innocently. "Ok, time to check the back yard, come on." "Zoinks, I don't know about this girl," "Why because she had a little fun with you lighten up Amir." They followed me upstairs and went out side. We looked around the back yard for anyone. I found a beer bottle broken on the porch but my parents don't drink. I backed up and looked on the roof. "Howdy ho!" Ryan said sliding of the roof, is he gone?" "How the hell should I know for all we know he could be in my kitchen eating a turkey sandwich with tomatos." "Yuck," exclaimed Amir. "Really?" "No not really, who eat's in the kitchen any more, he probably in the living room kicking back watching re-runs or 'Sienfield'." "Dude, there is some wierd shit going on Danielle." I heard a voice say. "Wait a minute, who said that, none a y'all know my name." "It's me, pervert." "JC?" He hopped over my fence. "You rang?" "What the fuck hapened to you today i was worried sick?" "I don't really know one minute i'm talking to you and the next i'm being carried off by someone then i don't rememeber what happened after that, and who might these gentlemen be?" "You remember the band you care nothing about that i love more that just about anything?" "Oh yeah, um Orgy right? I don't remember you saying there was only 3." "And who is this your new boyfriend that you've been keeping from me?" "I only wish so, why'd you come here? Why didn't you just call?" "I'm locked out my dad's not home." "My parents aren't home either. Ok but you have to help us, there's a killer on the loose and we have to find Paige and Bobby so we can get the fuck out of here." "What is this one of those stupid object hide and go seek games." "JC this isn't a game help please? You're my best friend!" "Shit I don't wanna die, but ok." "Ok, come on we have to find them fast, there's not much time!" We went back inside the house. "I never did like hide and go seek much." Where ever Bobby and Paige were they weren't about to let us find out so all I had to do was think about what I would do if I were them. Hmmm. "The attic!" I yelled. We ran upstairs and I got my pepper spray out of my room. I opened the door to the attic and the killer jumped down i sprayed him in the eyes with the pepper spray and we ran away. I went into the bathroom and everyone else followed me. It was really tight fit because the bathroom was pretty small. Then we heard some banging on the door. It kept getting louder and louder. "Shit I'm going on the roof!" Jay said. I thought about going to but I couldn't keep running like this. Jay crawled out the window and so did Ryan. I looked at Amir, Micheal and JC. They look even more scared than you. "You guys can go on the roof too but be careful." "No, you need a man to protect you," Amir said with his voice shaking. "Ok whatever, get killed then." I started to make my way to the door and grabbed the handle in my hand as I unlocked it and slowly turned the handle. Then the handle jerked and the door flew open. "Paige?" "Jinkies, who the hell are you?" "I'm Danielle, I live here. What happened to you?" "I was hiding in the linen closet and all of a sudden i had to take a piss, you mind?" "No, fine go right ahead." Amir, Micheal, JC and I got an the roof with Jay and Ryan. They weren't up there. "Jay? Ryan?" Amir yelled. "Hey Amir, might i suggest you guys never split up again?" "Yeah, seems logical." "Hey Amir, do you want to die tonight?" "Yes very witty, come on we have to find them." "No, Amir!" I screamed I ran to him and pushed him over and iI got stabbed in the stomach. "Go you guys hurry!" "What about you?" "I'll be fine just go!" "Hey Danielle, thanks for saving my life I owe you one!" Amir yelled as he climbed off the roof. "Wait a minute, i do owe you one," he said as he climbed back on the roof and kicked the killer out of the way and picked me up and carried me off the roof. "Thanks. I can walk i think." I stumbled at first clutching where i got stabbed. "Yipes, we need to get you to the hospital." Micheal said. "God, are you ok?" "JC i've been stabbed what do you think, but i'll be fine my dad's a docter he has a bunch of bandages and junk laying around." We started to walk into the house and i said, "ok, if i don't know any better then he's already made his way back into the house so we have to just grab the stuff and get the fuck out." I stopped suddenly and screamed, Ryan was laying in the driveway, dead! "Where did Jay go?" I heard some foot steps behind us. I turned around, it was Paige. "Jinkies! Ryan's dead?" He started to cry but Amir slapped him. "Where's Jay?" "I don't know, we have to find him and Bobby." "What happened to you?" "I got stabbed what does it look like." "She saved my life." Amir said hugging me. "What does it feel like?" "It hurts like fucking hell what do you think?" We opened the door to the house at least my dad keeps his shit by the door, i grabbed it and ran. There's only one place left to look for Bobby. The car, we went to the car and i got out my key and opened it. I looked in the back seat and in the front. No Bobby. I opened the seat that goes to the trunk. You heard a scream and out pops Bobby. "Bobby, Bobby, it's just us." "Rebus, you guys? Where's Jay and Ryan?" "Ryan's dead and Jay is missing." "Ryan's dead?" He started to cry. "Shut up Bobby," Amir said as he slapped him. "What are we going to do? And wait a minute, who are you guys?" "I'm Danielle, this is JC pleased to meet you, ok I'm sure Jay was in his right mind to get the fuck out of here so let's do the same, get in." "What?" Amir said. "Get in, I'm driving?" "Zoinks, you're like 13, you can't drive." "Try me, now get in." "Whatever." Paige said as he got in. "Trust me ok Amir?" "Alright." I started to car and turned on my orgy CD. "Hey you're doing pretty rebus so far." Bobby said. "Thanks, i've been doing this since i was 8." "Where are we going?" Amir asked. "I thought you knew." I said back. I thought for a minute, "we have to go to the police," i finally said. "Wait it's Jay!" Micheal screamed. "The killer is right behind him though we'll die too if we save him." I stoped the car imediately. "What are you nuts?!?" Amir yelled. "We can't just leave him. "Jay run faster, get in!" I yelled. "Open the door Paige and grab Jay and hold on hard as soon as he is in." Jay jumped in the car and Paige grabbed him and the killer slashed his knife a Jay and cut his leg open. "Damn it, i just bought these pants," he said as i sped away. Paige pulled Jay in and closed the door. "What happened to you?" "Well i went on the roof with Ryan and then the killer appeared and pushed Ryan of the roof. The i jumped down and ran as fast as i could. Then he was gone for awhile and the he found me again and chased me down untill i found you guys." "Ow," I screamed. "What?" Bobby said. "We have to stop at the mall first, it's closer and it's not safe to stop." "Why, we already out ran the killer." "Don't you watch scary movies? There's always more than one killer." "Why are we going to the mall?" Bobby asked confused. "She was stabbed." Paige,Amir, Micheal and JC said together. "And another thing, why is she driving?" Jay asked "Because she can." Amir, Micheal, JC, Paige, and Bobby said together. "Ok, sorry i asked." "But why? How far is the police station?" "It's about 20 miles away." "Wow, that sucks." "Besides that, what time is it?" "It's almost nine, shit!" "Shit what?" Paige said. "My parents will be home in an hour I like have to call them." "Why?" "Duh the killer," I said hitting JC in the head. "Wait if the police station is so far away why are we driving and not calling?" "Because they'd never get here in time, we'd all be fish sticks by the time they got here." "Ok, there's the mall." I parked the car but then i paused at opening the door. "What's wrong?" Micheal asked. "The killer is here, i can feel it, he's waiting for us to get out of the car." I said back. Everyone in the car started to look scared. "I'm just kidding, come on," I said opening the door while clutching my side. I started to stand up when Amir started to say stuff. I stopped in the position i was in holding the door. "What?" "Zoinks, I think you were right Danielle." "Why, i was just kidding now come on." "Danielle!" Amir screamed. I stood up and looked in front of me. I had bumped into the killer. He had a knife in his hand that was gleaming in the street lights. I stared at it for a second then looked back up. The killer waved to me and slashed his knife toward my throat, I ducked and jumped in the car and slammed the door. His fingers were caught in the door trying to get in. I started the car but it wouldn't start. "You guys, there's no more gas. This is the end of the line." "What? There has to be another way." Jay said. "The only way is to call 911 but by the time they get here all they'll find is our mangled corpses. The other way i refuse to do." "Well what is it?" "If we all make a run for it, one of us is going to die for sure." Jay pulled out his phone and called 911. "Ok, i'm gonna open the door, 1, 2..." "No don't!" micheal yelled. "3" I opened the door a crack and slammed it, I pulled it in as hard as i could. "That's not gonna do shit, just open the damn thing all the way." "Ok, 1, 2, 3" I opened the door with as much force as i could and hit the killer and knocked him down then i slammed it as hard as i could and locked it. "I did it!" "Yeah, kudos to you but what do we do when he breaks the windows?" JC asked. "Don't worry your pretty little head, if there's one thing i know about my parents it's that they never ever even think about buying a car unless it has bullet proof windows." "But what about what you said about our mangled corpes?" "I was kidding again, the police will be here any minute now, the station is only a mile away." "I said it before and i'll say it again, i don't know about this girl," Amir whispered to Jay. "I heard that, come on just have fun with this, i mean you die you die but at least you had fun doing it, I wouldn't want to die any other way." "Jinkies are you optimistic," Paige said. "Wow, i never really looked at it that way." Jay said. "Yeah i mean you're the best fan we could ask for, you took a bullet for me!" Amir said. "It was a knife." "Bullet, knife what's the difference, the point is you saved my life. I wish my daughter in law is just like you." "Dad," Micheal whined. "Shut up boy she's hot," Amir whispered to Micheal and then put a big smile on his face. "Fuck!" I yelled. "What now?" "The windows are giving way!" The glass from the window fell all over me. "Bail!" We all Jumped out of the car, I tried to crawl out but my foot got caught in the steering wheel. "Help!" I screamed. Amir heard me and ran back. "Grab my hand!" By then i had tears in my eyes, "I don't want to die," I cried. "You won't I promise." The killer slashed my ankle. I screamed as loud as i could. Amir finally got me loose. "Can you walk?" "No, just leave me." "Bull shit come on!" He picked me up and ran after the other guys. "I don't see them!" Amir yelled. "Shit we have to get you to the hospital, you're bleeding all over!" "No we have to find them." "No we have to get you to the hospital, if my future daughter in law is going to be my future daughter in law." "You like me that much, you hardly know me." "I know you and my son click and i know what people are like from the moment i lay eyes on them, you are amazing!" "Thanks Amir, Amir look out!" The killer had stabbed Amir in the back. "Nooo!" I screamed. The killer was coming for me now i looked up at him. "Please, I don't want to die." I cried. Then the killer fell over. Amir had kicked him in the back. The killer then got up and ran away. Wondering why i looked up, the ambulance was finally here! I crawled over to Amir. "Amir the ambulance is here." He just layed there. "Amir?" I slapped him twice. "Amir, wake up, hold on Amir please hold on!" I grabbed his hands and layed down on his chest. I couldn't hear a heart beat. I started to cry histarically. The ambulance stopped and they got out. They put Amir on a stretcher and then me. "Please don't let him die," I said to the paramedic as they put me in the ambulance. They put Amir in a seperate ambulance. I was scared, and what happened to everyone else? Are they ok? I layed down and relexed. The pain was so intense that i couldn't relax. "Oh i can't imagine a greater pain than this," i moaned. They were cleaning the stab mark in my stomch when i heard yells coming from out side one of them sounded like JC. "Stop the ambulance!" I screamed. Everyone ignored me. "Listen you are going to burn in hell if you don't stop this ambulance now, they are out there help them!" "Calm down miss, we'll get you the the hospital right away." "Stop!" Finally the ambulance stopped. "Please just turn around they are in trouble!" "Wait, who?" "JC, Micheal and Orgy." "Alright." The driver turned the ambulance around and he saw 5 figures in the road. Then he stopped. "Are those the one's?" He asked. "Yes," I answered. The paramedics opened the doors and they got in. "Boy am i glad to see you guys!" "Where's my dad?" Micheal asked. I could feel the tears welling up, "Your dad is in the other ambulance." "Why isn't he in here with you?" "Amir got stabbed saving me!" I started to cry. JC slapped me. "Thanks, i needed that." "Yipes, is he ok?" "I don't know." Micheal started to cry. Jay slapped him. "Here have a Micheal Snak and shut up." The ambulance started to go again. I layed down again. When we got to the hosptial they unloaded me and put me on a wheeler. "I want to see Amir!" I said. "Better do what she says, she's crazy." Jay whispered to the paramedic. The peoples wheeled me into Amir's room. There was a nurse in there. "Is he ok?" I asked. The nurse looked at me and shook her head. "What, he's breathing, he has to be make him breathe!" I screamed. "I'm sorry, he's dead." "wheel me to him," I said looking up at the paramedic. I slowly reached over and felt his neck. I felt a slow pulse! I laughed. "What's so funny Danielle? My dad's dead what do you think that's funny?" "No, i don't, but he's not dead. Unless dead people have a pulse now days, but the knife pierced his heart i think you have to get him into surgery now!" "Better do as she says, she's crazy." The paramedic said. Everybody was so happy. They quickly wheeled Amir into surgery. "How did you know Amir was ok?" Paige asked. "Because, he owed me a favor." I laughed. "Wow, you saved Amir like twice, you really are the best fan we could ask for!" Jay said. "Oh, I know, I know." I said. We sat in the waiting room. A few hours later a doctor came out and said, "Amir is fine, he's in a room right now, he should wake up soon." "Rebus!" Bobby said. We went to see him in his room. We sat down around his bed and waited for him to wake up. Amir finally opened his eyes and looked around. "Zoinks! What happened?" "You got stabbed in the back." "Woa, that was wierd, i saw this groovy light show." "Cause you died and came back to life." "Yeah you wouldn't be here if it weren't for Danielle, because she noticed you had a pulse, other wise you would of bled to death." Paige said. "Wow, my little wonder woman," Amir said pushing the hair out of my face. Then Ryan walked through the door. "Ryan, we thought you were dead!" "I guess I just fell down and took a nap." Then I just decided to kiss Micheal. "Well i guess everything worked out ok, you know i learned something today, uh wait, i didn't learn anything but let's just pretend I did. Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it." "Yeah." Everyone said together and I became best friends with Orgy and JC still. The End |
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 liquid idiot |
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| Romance: | ||
 persian cat |
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| comedy:
BY DANIELLE E.(ME) home shopping with amir, Ryan and Jay: Jay: Hi all you mother fuckers and welcome to uh, what does that say?(squints) bobby quit fucking around with the que cards Bobby: I'm sorry jay please don't kick me out of the band Ryan: dude you said fuck on tv hehe he Amir: ok you guys quit screwing up and let's Jay: ok, any way, welcome to the home shopping show type thing Ryan: I thought we were doing a cooking show Amir: Ryan no, we're doing a home sho-p-ing sh-ow (says slowly) can you say home sh-o-p-ing sh-ow? Ryan: ho (pause) m Sh sh-o-ping sh sh-ow Amir: good boy here's your reward(pulls a dog biscut from his pocket and gives it to ryan) Jay: so what are we selling any way? Amir: I thought you knew(patting ry's head) Ryan: this one time i sold an empty beer can to a homeless guy for like a dollar Jay: are you done being a moron? Ryan: what's a moron? Amir: it's what you are Ryan: oh, ok Amir: what are we gonna do??? (freaking out) we have nothing to sell!!! Jay: let's sell that(points to his left) Ryan: what the hell is that? Jay: it's uh, a um, an animatronic shoe (puts paige's cat on the counter) Paige: wait a minute that's mr whiskers! (says in a hurt voice) Amir: paige, how many times must we tell you? your job is to run the camera not dictate what we sell Ryan: what's dictate mean? Amir: it means to um, love something Ryan: what? you wanna take this outside bitch? Jay: Ryan shut the fuck up Ryan: you said fuck again heh heh, wait what did you say about my mom? (amir and jay look at each other) Amir: I said your mom has a back itch Ryan: how do you know that? Jay: nevermind let's just take the stupid calls and sell the animatronic shoe Amir: whatever Ryan:caller you're on the air caller: uh, yeah i want to buy that Ryan: no you can't it's mine you hear? mine! Paige: no it's not mr. whiskers is mine! Jay: paige don't make me say it again caller: what? Amir: i'm sorry, you've reached speedy pizza, why did you call me? caller: well in that case i'll have 3 large pepperoni and anchovie pizzas delivered to *address prohibited to be shown* Jay: uh, yeah, we'll have those to you right away, but it may take 3 to 5 years caller: huh (ryan hangs up on him) Ryan: how rude he wanted to take my shoe away! (says in a hurt voice) Jay: uh, yeah, caller you're on the air caller: yes i would like to purchase that Jay: ok caller, you will be billed 4 easy payments of 399.99 in the next 3 months, what is the address? caller: my address, it uh Amir: nice try paige (hangs up) Jay: this sucks, let's cook something(throws the cat behind him) Paige: Mr whiskers! (screams worried) Ryan: I told you it wa s cooking show! (acts very proud of himself) (jay rolls his eyes) Amir: yeah but who knows how to cook? (paige raises his hand) Ryan: no you don't. A week ago you tried to pour yourself a glass of milk and somehow caught the kitchen on fire I don't even know how you did that Paige: I wanted warm milk and i only put the carton in the oven for 30 minutes Jay: it was already warm though because bobby forgot to put it in the refridgerator Bobby: I'm sorry jay please don't yell again! Amir: I know let's make beer flavored ice cream! Jay: (walks to the fridge) There's no more beer! Ryan: *burp* imagine that (throw an empty beer can at some old lady in the audience) Amir: we'll make beer then Ryan: retard you can't make beer it comes in bottles already duh! Amir: your right ry, beer can't be made(sarcasm)(rolls eyes) Jay: wait a minute where the fuck is my vodka?!? (the old lady ry threw the beer can at hid jays half empty bottle of vodka behind her back and starts whitleing zippity doo da) Jay: either somebody gets me vodka or i kill everyone in this room, and you out there watching on tv i know where you live!(goes crazy) (everyone in the audience throws any alchol the have on stage) Jay: thank you Amir: alright! beer! Ryan: yay, we can make beer ice cream!!! Jay: who knows how to make ice cream? (cricket chirping sounds) Jay: ok, i know we'll make beer flavored cake! fetch me a cake mix! we'll use beer instead of water! Ryan: aliright! sweet! Amir: there isn't any, i used it in my coffee last week Jay: well, we'll improvise get me a bunch of whight powder Ryan: ok (Comes back with an arm full of flour, yeast and ect.) Jay: ok, well pour a bunch of that stuff in a bowl (ryan opens the bags and pours some of everything in the bowl) Jay: now i think we need eggs and oil Ryan: will this work? (holds up a can of motor oil) Jay: it's oil isn't it? Amir: it turned the mix black, cool now pour in the beer! (jay poured in the beer and puts the bowl in the oven) Ryan: now what? Amir: wanna go get some food? Jay: no you guys will get fat! Ryan: shut up jay and come on, come on paige and bobby let's go untill the cake is done (2 hours later... they come back to the building and there's a bunch of fire fighters because the place is on fire) Jay: what the hell happened? fire fighter: some idiot caught the building on fire because he doesn't know how to cook Amir: Imagine that(takes a sip of mountain dew) Bobby: this is magnificent, just like the hindenburg Paige: yeah, wait what about mr whiskers?!? (mr. whiskers runs to paige nad jumps in his arms) Bobby: well i guess everything turned out ok, you know i've learned something today, christmas isn't about presents and things it's about being together with loved ones and being kind to one another and peace on earth and good will toward men Paige: what the hell are you talking about? it's July! Bobby: isn't christmas in july? Jay: no bobby, it's in december as in 5 months away Bobby: I'm sorry jay, please don't hurt me(covers head) Jay: bobby, shut up Bobby: well then, if that's not the moral then what is? Amir: don't open beer bottles with your teeth Ryan: I don't get it Amir: and you never will (pets ry on the head) Paige: so what are we gonna do now? Jay: go to disney world and drink beer! Ryan: disney world is like 2000 miles away though Amir: well it's getting dark and i don't think we'll be sleeping on the bus tonight(points to the bus as it bursts into flames) Paige: well let's go somewhere else and drink beer! All: yeah (and they all lived happily ever after once they got a hold of some beer) |
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 booby |
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